Remember only a year ago? How close we were? How much we told each other? How we, or maybe just I, thought that it would never change, and we would be that close, maybe even closer as time went on.
Things changed. We barley talk. The thought of you in my head makes me want to crawl into a ball and cry because you have change so much, and I just want the old you to come back, and sadly there’s a part of me that feels like you will, so I haven’t completely left your life yet. I still try. I know I shouldn’t. I know that you’re the reason why I feel so miserable. I don’t blame that on you. I blame that on me. I know that I can change my outlook on everything and change how I feel, but I’m not. You’re someone special in my life, or were, but you aren’t someone to stay forever. And soon, that will be how it is. We won’t talk anymore. We might see each other, but no hellos will be said to one another.
I guess the saying “the only constant is change” is one of the truest statements I have ever heard, and this situation was and still is one of the biggest eye openers to me to this point of my life. Not everyone is made to stay in your life forever. Things happen for a reason. People will hurt you and you can choose to try to forgive and forget but in the end, you can realize you have done that way too many times and this can’t be another time. Most relationships and friendships aren’t made to last forever.
So now, I have realized that you’re not going to go back to who you were, which is fine. You seem like you’re doing well, so why do I keep drowning myself in this pathetic unrealistic drama that I overreacted too? Why have I been so miserable? I need to get over it and move forward without looking in the past. There was absolutely no reason I acted the way I did. But, maybe it was for a reason. All the rash decisions I made were dumb and out of portion, and I do sincerely apologize.
The one thing I do believe, although I didn’t have a reason on the way I acted, is that it was all for a reason. Things shouldn’t last forever and that was one of the things that would end sooner or later.
Things change. Stuff happens. You go on. You keep moving forward.
It’s so easy to live in the past.